Not Caring: Is that the Trick?
February 25th, 2008
Well, seems that my topic “The Art of Ignoring” has caused a male/female difference of opinion. I’d like you all to weigh in with your opinions on this.
The men are all “Ya, that’s right! Just don’t care what other people think.” Which of course is probably the right way to think. The women are all “That is so wrong, how can you not care?”
Personally I’m at about a 80/20 split. 80% of the time I could care less what people think. It’s that 20% that I can’t seem to get around. Sometimes it’s a big thing. Most often it’s just some little thing that has me upset and I tend to get over it quickly. However, if you want to get me rip roaring, take no hostages, out to do physical damage then just go after someone I care about. I can be just as enraged if I perceive someone I don’t know well, or even at all, is being hurt.
I once had a shrink tell me I had “injustice” issues. That I tended to see things as black and white/right and wrong and that I get morally outraged at injustices. While I don’t consider it an “issue” I would have to agree. I find it repugnant when someone takes advantage of someone else.
So all in all I guess the men are right. I don’t care what people THINK I care what they DO.
What about you? Do you care or not? I want to hear your take on this!
Hellish Google Ads
February 21st, 2008
I noticed that yesterday’s article caused Google to randomly select ads related to the topic. Google decided that what related was “hell”. Lovely. The ads consisted of things like “The Truth About Hell. No One Will Burn in Hell for All Eternity and We Can Prove It” and “Hell and Who Goes There.”
I was going to check them out but first Google doesn’t let you click your own ads and secondly I was afraid, very afraid. I sure didn’t want internet confirmation that I was going to hell even if it wasn’t for all eternity. However the ads did get me thinking about my Catholic upbringing and the 10 Commandments. I wondered how I was doing on those and decided to break them down and analyze my potential spiritual fate.
#1 You Shall Have No Other Gods but Me.
#2 You Shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.
- These are the ones that might cause me to fry forever. I’m not a big believer in God and worse I often offer up a prayer to the bowling and softball gods. A fry forever in hell worthy offense I’m sure.
#3 You Shall Not Misuse the Name of Your God.
- I think I skate by on this one on a technicality. I take The Lord’s son’s name in vain a whole lot but not God’s. And I’m usually doing while turning the other cheek so I’d think that cancels out the fry worthy part.
#4 You Shall Remember and Keep the Sabbath Holy.
- Ok, I fail at this too. Sunday are usually started off with the phrase “What happened hell to Saturday.” I do try to keep it holy, in a sense. I am reverent about doing absolutely nothing the entire day.
#5 Respect Your Mother and Father
- Woot! This one I do, no problem. I respect the very healthy distance we keep between us.
#6 You Shall Not Kill
- Another one I have covered! I’m pretty sure wanting to throttle my kids doens’t count. It is deeds and not thoughts that count for this one, right?
#7 You Must Not Commit Adultery
- I’m on a roll. Another one I easily live by!!! More than 1 man at a time defies any known logic. If we were meant to have more than 1 man there’d be 48 hours in a day because that’s how much time they take up.
#8 You Must Not Steal
- There is nothing out there that I want badly enough to risk becoming Big Jane’s sweet baby girl. It’s simple, I’d get caught, end up in prison and be offered the “protection” of the largest and scariest woman every to grace the prison system. It’s way easier, and safer, to just work for what I want.
#9 You Must Not Bear False Witness
- I don’t have to make up stuff about people. They do a good enough job making themselves look bad without my help.
#10 You Must Not Covet Thy Neighbour’s Wife or Goods.
- Another easy one. I assume, in my case, this means neighbor’s husband. Ummm, no thanks. He’s at least 200 lbs overweight, yells a lot and is only a few years older than my oldest kid. As for their stuff, again, no thanks! Their car has more miles than Britney Spears has personalities and their prized possession is their Christmas reindeer that they put up on their roof.
All in all I figure I might go to hell, if there’s a hell, but it won’t be for eternity. Chances are I’d just have to spend a few millenium sitting in a small room with my mother. EEK! Perhaps I should revisit the Commandments I’ve been slacking on just in case.
One last thing, I always thought “Turn the other cheek” was a commandment. It’s not. All this time I’ve been “turning” like I was Linda Blair in The Exorcist and it’s all been for nothing. Another one that doens’t qualify is “Do unto others”. I was never very good at that one. Mostly people do unto me. In spades. Which results in cheek turning and supreme being name misuse.
I also noticed there was nothing about placing blame. Works for me. All the ones I’ve screwed up on…
…they weren’t my fault! I think I’m covered and not hell-bound!
Take care!
Picture Hell!
February 20th, 2008
Today I spent almost 2 hours at the SAQ. The SAQ is the equivalent of the D.M.V., it’s where we Quebecers go to get our driver’s permits renewed.
We are a little lucky in that they only require us to have the picture on our permits redone every 4 years and for me that’s usually not soon enough.
8 years ago when they first started requiring that your photo be on the permit I got stuck with something hideous. Someone came in and yelled right as the woman took the picture. The startle effect made me look 12 and terrified. I tried, in vain, to get the lady to redo the picture but her only answer was “Looks like you, sorry.” So for 4 years every time I had to show photo i.d. people would laugh. The next time I had to get the photo done I was prepared. I was not spending 4 more years looking like a terrified little child. Ha! That year they got me wetting my lips. Yes, my driver’s permit has a picture of me with my tongue stuck out. Lovely. I seriously look like Chro-Magnum woman lusting after the most virile hunter of my tribe.
So today I was hesitant to go. What could they possibly do this time to make me look like a complete social reject? If I slipped her some cash would that assure me that I’d get something that at least looked as good as a mug shot? Maybe if I tried to screw up the picture it would come out looking respectable. Sigh. I opted for compassion. I showed the woman my last 2 permits. She was horrified. “Did *I* take that?” (um, like I remember who served me 4 years ago). I assured her it wasn’t her but that I was relying on her to do her best not to make me look like I shouldn’t be allowed to walk across a street alone muchless drive a car.
Click! Picture 1 seems I had my eyes closed. Probably out of fear of what the picture would look like.
Click! Seems I moved in #2
Click! #3 wasn’t my fault, the flash didn’t go off.
Click #4, #5 and #6 She didn’t even tell me what was wrong but I could see in her face that a decent shot better happen soon or I’d get whatever shot had my eyes open.
Click #7 had her sighing and she said “Madame, maybe you shouldn’t smile it makes you look like you’re grimacing.”
Click #8 had her sighing again but with relief. “That’s it. You’ll get your new permit in the mail in the next 10 days.”
I asked if I could see the photo but she quickly and emphatically told me it was impossible that I’d have to wait to see it on the actual permit.
I figure I got my wish and my driver’s permit photo will look like the mug shot of a homicidal maniac but the lady was smart. She knows that by the time I get it in the mail, there’s a good chance I won’t remember who she is and therefore won’t go DMV postal on her butt! I was suppose to make a stop at the post office after but figured that might not be such a good idea.
If this year’s photo is bad then you’ll see me in 4 years entering the building like this:
Take care~
The Art of Ignoring
February 18th, 2008
There’s a piece of advice that I tried for YEARS to get my oldest daughter to learn but never succeeded. It’s advice that I’m sure every parent in the world has tried to impart and probably has had as much limited success as I did. The advice: Ignore your little sister and she’ll stop bothering you.
In daughter #1’s defense, daughter #2 was very talented in the annoyance department and also very persistent! I never managed to 
get daughter #1 to ignore her sister and many a loud fits of indignation followed. Daughter # 1 did become quite inventive in her suggested methods of punishment however.
The reason I was thinking about this again was that a girlfriend of mine, who’s old enough to know better, is having somewhat of a similar situation. For her, though, it’s an ex-girlfriend of her current significant other.
Seems the ex (let’s call her Drama Queen) likes to stir the pot. I was there for one occasion when she kept going on about how he, the ex (let’s call him Clueless Dude) used to be when they were together. On and on she went about how different he is now and how she’s not pleased by the changes. Now keep in mind they’ve been split up at least 3 years and she’s been with another guy for at least 2. Of course the implication is that now that he’s dating my friend he’s gone down some terrible path of destruction. My friend gets her knickers in a bit of a knot and starts defending by saying how he’s doing the things he wants to do and so on. I watched this develop for a bit and then got tired of the drama so the next time Drama Queen started her sentence with “When he was with me…” I cut her off and said “He’s not with you and by the looks of it he seems very happy with that.” Oddly she didn’t take that too well and stormed out. Oops!
So I tell my friend that she needs to just ignore the witch when she starts on her pot stirring. Sigh! More deaf ears. At first my friend would get up and walk away when Drama Queen would start. DQ would just up the ante and sit closer to Clueless Dude and hang on his arm. Which of course my girlfriend would have been able to see from the bathroom with the door closed. Zap! She back at his side defending again. She proudly told me the one-liners she’s zinged at DQ and the comments she’s ignored. Every time she tells me the story it ends with the same sentence…”She still does it, whyyyyyyy?”
Sigh!
The trick is simple, you just can’t give a crap. Drama queens are predators, as soon as they sense weakness they go in for the kill. Care and you show weakness and that makes you dead meat.
As for my friend, unfortunately she cares so now we are working on “fake it ’til you make it” as her back up plan.
Option B: Ask her if she’s gained weight and smile.
Take care!
ps. The ex blows off his girlfriend with “Stop being jealous, she means nothing to me” so that’s why he get the dubious title of Clueless Dude.
Another Valentine’s Come and Gone
February 15th, 2008
So yesterday was THE day.
The day where you either felt very loved. Translated that means your significant other actually took the time and energy to show their love in a way that made you feel special.
Or it was the day that your insignificant piece of <insert appropriate word here>
Or it was the day you sit around feeling “less than” because you don’t even have even an insignificant piece of anything in your life.
Whatever the case the fact remains that it’s just another day. A day many claim is just a super hyped marketing ploy with no real sentiment just pressure to do THE romantic thing or have THE perfect significant other. Anything less makes you less than.
I’m a sap. I like sucky romantic things. I like that my guy took the time and energy to dedicate himself to finding me a card that shows how he feels for me. Throughout the year I pull all the cards he’s given me out, give them a read and feel good about us. I know he’s put less effort into buying the card than he does keeping his hockey skates sharp but they make me feel loved anyway.
However, little does he know that he gave me a better gift the night before. We were in a local bar, surrounded by a bunch of his macho hockey playing men friends when I caught him staring at me. I gave him a “what’s up” shrug of my shoulders and he said, loudly, “I love you and you are the sexiest woman ever!” The conversations around the table stopped and he had all the guys looking at him. He didn’t even notice, he was too busy looking at me.
And that’s the secret. Make your partner feel like they are THE only person for you. Not one day a year, not all the time so it loses it’s meaning and becomes mundane but often. Do the little little things and watch how they add up.
My contribution to this year’s Valentine’s was a home baked, heart-shaped cake. I hate cooking so for me that was an effort, lol. I topped it off with a really romantic card and a Valentine’s puppy.
The moral to the story; take the time and show the person you love that you love them. Make an effort!
Check out the video of the Valentine’s Shout Puppy.
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